Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Sickness

When the seasons changed, our baby gave all of us a sickness bug. We've been fighting it for almost two weeks now.

I've found a lot to complain about in the last two weeks. In addition, problems that I can usually overcome seem insurmountable. And doubts and fears that have been silently under the surface have come out in full force. I've had a lot of breakdowns this week.

In the few quiet moments, instead recharging, I find myself lamenting my weaknesses. Why haven't I figured this out yet? I spend time angry and upset, unhappy and feeling sorry for myself. Haven't we been through this already? I know this is not effective, I tell myself. Then I lash out at those I love, drawing myself into a never-ending cycle of self-deprecation and self-defeat.

I put off those things that might help me most: real scripture study, an earnest prayer, a chance to notice my blessings. It's not quiet enough. There are too many distractions. I need the sleep. Then I am reminded of the lesson I learned last Christmas, that peace can be had without the quiet.

God speaks to our souls. He is forgiving. He is kind. He knows our troubles and our sorrows. And His son Jesus Christ is the ultimate example of how to live under pressure. We can find him in prayer, or read his words, see him in the bounteous blessings surrounding us.

So how can we live through sickness? How can we get over the self pity? Apparently I don't know yet. But I do know that nothing can replace the daily bread. It's more of a healing balm than herbal tea or honey or cough drops combined.


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